My fourth grader confronted me a few weeks ago. She confronted me by saying that because her window, slightly cracked open, gives her the opportunity to overhear Janet and me talking on the front porch, she knows that I don’t always say “nice things” about her.
I thought about that for a second and I said, “Sweetie pie, I never have to worry about you overhearing me, because I know that there is no time in which I say ‘unnice things’ about you. In fact, anything that I’ve ever said to Mommy I’ve always said to you directly and personally and always with an abundance of love.”
Bella just smiled, and said that she wasn’t totally sure I said anything different, but she was just testing to see if I did!
Of course, what I said to Janet was nothing different than what I had said to Isabella.
And what I said to Isabella was absolutely true.
But it also occurred to me that what I said to Isabella is a great maxim for life.
How about this?
Never say anything to anybody that you would not be prepared to say, gently and with love, directly to the person.
If that becomes an operating parameter, a whole lot of other problems tend to go away.