It started innocently enough. As I was about to take a shower, I saw my little seven year old playing a “007” with himself in the mirror. He had arms extended, shooting at himself in the mirror, ducking, shooting again, and then dodging again.
Tat. Tat, tat, tat. Tat!
He turned to me and said, “You know, Daddy, you can never escape yourself in the mirror!”
Indeed.
I stopped in my tracks, about to get into the shower, and was overwhelmed at how true that really is.
I’ve met people from all walks of life. All religions. Virtually all professions. Just about every socio-economic stratum, and every character variation under the sun. And regardless of the face they put on, or the skin they wear, at the end of the day, there’s only one person who knows for sure who they really are . . . themselves.
As we wear our various masks, depending upon the situation we are in, we tend to forget that we do not always appear who we really are. We’re never as good as we appear to be when we’re trying really hard. And we’re never as bad as we come across in our less than finest moments. As we look ourselves in the mirror, or more precisely, when we force ourselves to look ourselves in the mirror, we are the person that we see — nothing more, nothing less. We truly can’t escape it, one way or another.
There are times in which I have gotten credit for things I barely contributed to. And my response at the time was, “Thank you, but I truly didn’t do a whole lot.”
There are other times that I have been vilified for thoughts, feelings or motivations that I never had. In those cases, my response at that time was, “Thank you, but it’s really not that way.”
Either way, I’m very clear that I know my own heart, and I know who I truly am.
Try an experiment.
Tonight, after reading this column, go home, dress in whatever way you are most comfortable, take a chair and place it in front of your mirror, and sit there.
Breathe deeply. Serenely. And calm yourself into a nice rhythm of breathing. Then, look yourself in the mirror. Look over yourself. And make contact with your own eyes. Communicate with yourself through your own eyes. A deep and solid connection. Overcome the embarrassment or the awkwardness. But, make the connection.
Do you like what you see? Do you know who you are? Do you know your own heart?
As we move throughout the days of our lives, we get challenged from every direction and for every reason. But, when you know who you are and you know your own heart, nothing else really matters. Because, after all, the one person you can’t escape in the mirror is yourself.
Original writing date: February 2003