I remember my father-in-law, when I first had Jordan, our first child, giving me some pointers. He had spent some time with me and Janet and saw that I was totally unprepared to have a child. I never talked with an elevated voice, even when I was angry. I never set out specific rules, regardless of how young Jordan was. I actually communicated with reason to a 2-year old. I remember one time mentioning that to my mother-in-law and she actually laughed out loud. In retrospect, it really was pretty stupid. In any event, that’s how prepped I was for having kids.
After observing me for about 3 months, and with the utmost respect, my father-in-law just simply and candidly communicated a couple things. He said, “Let me make some suggestions. First, you sit at the head of the table. He doesn’t. Second, raise your voice if you need to. And third, either turn your head and pretend you didn’t see it, or handle it. The worse thing you can do is see a problem and not deal with it.”
My father-in-law is a soft-spoken man with incredible respect for and deference to me. On the other hand, I cannot even possibly imagine anybody who was more adept at telling me what I was doing wrong. He did it. He did it respectfully. He did it simply. And, at the end of the day, it made all the difference in the world.
The book is never closed on whether we’ve raised our kids successfully, but because of his advice, it’s a whole lot better today than it was then.
At the same time, the book is never closed on whether we run our businesses as successfully as we could. On the other hand, the advice he gave me about Jordan is advice I could use in the way I handle the business.
Original writing date: June 25, 2007