We had mom’s 80th birthday party last night. It was a wonderful affair. Since we’ve lived in the Orlando area for some 30 years, it gave us all the opportunity to bring together mom’s friends, people who have also become our friends, and the family, of course.
Needless to say, mom was very pleased.
I had a conversation this morning with one of the neighbors in attendance, who happened to mention to me, not in a critical way, but in a way which gave me pause, that she didn’t want to have an 80th birthday party when she became 80 or a 50th anniversary party, when, six years from now, she and her husband reach their 50th.
She said that birthdays, anniversaries, and so forth, are just one more day. Nothing more. Nothing special. Nothing to focus on.
I told her I certainly understood if she didn’t want to have a party — I’m not particularly big on parties for myself either — but wouldn’t she at least want to be able to celebrate the event in some special personal way?
She said, “No, nothing special to celebrate.”
It gave me pause to wonder.
Life gives us so many opportunities to celebrate. The milestones we personally achieve are part of those moments of celebration.
Marital anniversaries, especially those numbering 20, 30, 40, 50 or more.
Birthdays, especially when they reach the 70s, 80s, and 90s.
Add to that the episodes of life that fill us with pride and hope.
The weddings of our friends and family. Our own weddings.
Our children when they are born. Their first school plays. The first time they score a basket. Or solo in a dance recital. Their graduations. Their own weddings.
It appeared to me, as I was listening to her, that life makes it so very easy to mark the milestones…the mile markers…and craft them into our own celebrations of life.
We all celebrate life and life’s events in different ways, of course.
But it seems to me that whatever we do — however we celebrate — joyfulness comes from allowing ourselves the opportunity to transform simple moments in time into opportunities for acknowledgement and gratitude, the foundation for celebrations.
Celebrations of life.
Celebrations of marriage.
Celebrations of self.
Celebrations of others.
As I take a look at mom’s 80th, in light of our neighbor’s comments, I recognize that somewhere along the line I’ve learned to look at life differently than I may have in the past.
Day by day. Week by week. Year by year. My productivity, intellectual stimulation and creativity certainly continue to emanate from my work and from my work environment. But I find myself today acknowledging, validating and affirming those moments in time when I have the opportunity to declare and share a reason to celebrate. Celebrations of life — those special occasions brief as they might be, when time stands still and waits for us to catch up.
Original writing date: May 2002